I might have missed the point on why student drivers are in cars with giant signs “Bill’s Driving School”. For years it was my impression that these signs were in place to test the experience of said driving students. Whether in car, on foot or even on bike, I would investigate the skills of these young operators in essence asking “are you ready to be all alone in this crazy world?” I don’t mean are you ready to drive alone, are you ready to be alone? Just you, the road, 5,000lbs of metal and a sea of humanity ready to make you miserable. If you cant handle life behind the wheel of a car in Chicago it might be time for you to pack it in and get a job at the local movie theater. (offense to theater employees intended, those people creep me out). Upon finding one of these lost souls, my vehicle becomes a purveyor of life’s little lessons, a rogue monk teaching the spirituality of ignorance, a charging bull in the cattle call of the morning rush hour.
I will wait that extra moment at a green light enticing the doe eyed driver to reach for that horn. I will go out of turn at a four way stop and honk my horn and flip them off. As a pedestrian I will aimlessly cross the street forcing young Billy to wait patiently while cars angrily honk behind him. While on my bike I will ride as close as I can to his driver side window until his knuckles turn so white the blood might not ever return. For the fortunate few that encounter me on the streets feel privileged. The fearful fleeting moments we shared on the road has given you a taste on what life has to offer, pure uninspiring stupidity. Welcome.
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