He is the gatekeeper, the social director, security guard and all around know it all. He is the condo-building doorman. The wonderful thing about having a doorman is there is always someone to help you with your groceries and buzz in your drunken friends. The horrible thing about the doorman is you have just given unabashed power to, and I apologize, an idiot. Let’s face it; we are not talking about the cream of the employee crop here. Are their some intelligent folks out there guarding our buildings from Jehovah witnesses and girl scouts? Of course they are out there, but I have yet to find one.
Take my trip yesterday to drop off a cushion at a client’s condo. With the client on the phone I was instructed to leave the cushion at the front desk with Ralph and she would pick it up later. I explained this radical concept to him and he scoffed, “like I have room around here to keep this”. It’s a fucking pillow, stick it under your ass for all I care. We are in a 200 unit condo building I am sure there is an empty closet somewhere that can hold this pillow for three hours.
Today I had the pleasure of meeting Joy. The irony of her name was not lost on me. My presence was upsetting to her because the elevator was not padded at the time and she was not told I would be there. Personally I didn’t think a couple of flats of flowers warranted padding the elevator walls, but what do I know I have never been a doorman. In the middle of this debate a homeowner began to walk in the front door with his bike and she yelled ‘uh uh, no bikes in here sir, sir, sir…I said no bikes!’ Dude was about to get cut.
My suggestion is to be on your game if you ever find yourself interacting with one of these individuals. Keep in mind they don’t realize they don’t have any real power and are willing to make up their own rules if what you want means extra ‘work’ for them.
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