Well hello there, it has been too long. I will not apologize, nor bore you with the life altering events that have drawn me away from grammatically pleasuring you over the past month. What I will say is that I have become vastly more important in specific social circles and at this point might be a shoe in for a write in victory in the Chicago mayoral race. I have become enormously important. Now this may seem unimportant to you, and possibly even annoying that I have so quickly eclipsed you socially and morally, but you will be happy to hear that these changes have not affected my taste for public tongue lashings and witty musings on the socially inept and global corporate failures.
Today I will start with something that pains me deeply, an outright attack on an institution that has feed me, clothed me, and provided me with the opportunity to live for six months as a social outcast and later local hero. I give you Taco Bell.
It takes a lot for me to find faults in an established that has become a global giant in perpetuating Mexican stereotypes and butchering a beautiful culture with a revolving door of menu items that surprising consist of the same 6 ingredients. I over looked their attempts to introduce that fast food world to shrimp as an attempt at dietary diversification, and will eventually forgive the gaff of removing chili from their menu, but their latest attempt to capture and captivate the minds of young food coinsures has left me with an empty feeling.
Margaritas. A giant sign announcing the arrival of this great new product, followed by two lines that left me in a daze..."contains no juice or alcohol". For years I openly ignored the fact that the cheese was processed, the meat low grade and the beans not house 'refried' every morning. I wore the blinders with pride, but to slap me in the face with the crappiness of the product before it even hits my lips is mind numbing. Join me in my two day boycott of Taco Bell that started three days ago and ended yesterday, allowing you and me to now begin enjoying TB again, still.
Did they ever put that PB&J taco on the menu? Whoever thought of that one was BRILLIANT.
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