Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Office Hype, Bitches.

I don’t think people get excited enough at work. In your office what happens when you do something great? Maybe a pat on the back, or a drink at the bar, but no real emotion. So I suggest we all take a cue from the sports world and bring some excitement back in to the office. Here are a few suggestions of things you can do to hype up your office mates.


1. If you show up to work on time set off a smoke bomb and run through it yelling ‘let’s do this bitches’. Apparently in the sports world simply showing up is enough to cause a commotion.

2. If at any point during the day you send a particularly good email stand up and pound your chest and yell ‘you can’t stop my punctuation mother f*cker’. It is important to celebrate simply tasks that you are expected to do. Its like watching a football player tackle a running back after a 3 yard gain, it may not seem like an event worth dancing 20 yards down the field for, but trust me a well worded email is just as valuable.

3. Win a big project, announce the win to your boss then run at him throwing your brief case to the floor, untuck your shirt and jump on him (or her). “We did it, oh my god we did it!”

4. We have all seen the celebrations on the football field, whether it is the ‘mixing bowl’ or the high step dance they are all overly obnoxious and have nothing to do with football. So I propose that your celebrations be a little more appropriate to the office. There is the ‘air email type’, the ‘copier paper reload’ and my personal favorite the post power point presentation move in which you slam down the slide show clicker, rip open your shirt and make the slitting your throat gesture…’I just killed that presentation bitches, dead!’

So if you happen into J Crew and see me sell a particularly nice shirt, or happen to fold some pants really well you might just see some amazing celebrations. “That’s right sucker, your cant handle my skills! You don’t even want that shirt, but you are going to buy it because I am that good. Customers got nothing on this sales giant…J CREW!”

No comments:

Post a Comment