This is a very big week for the Miller family and me as we are embarking into uncharted waters both emotionally and physically. Not to be taken lightly Kimberly, Emerson and I have spent hours discussing our options, weighing the financial investment, and engaging in legal council to avoid any longer term consequences.
Some of you may find our decisions gut wrenchingly painful while others will be curious on why we waited so long, no doubt we lose some friends along the way. The manor in which we are making this announcement was debatable as many of you find this blog too humorous to be taken seriously, but the longevity of this posting will last much longer than any tweet or facebook posting.
My drop dead date has been set for 12:30pm on Thursday November 3rd for any of you that would care to join us in witnessing this historic moment. Some of you have learned about this in advance and already voiced your objections and removed us from the standard social media and phone contacts lists and for that we are truly sorry. For the rest of you, thank you for your support.
Without further delay I am ready to announce that on Thursday November 3rd at 12:30pm at 3620 N Clark I will be pairing the likes of French inspired fried potatoes, the liquid potion of a one Mr. Dr. Pepper with the culinary treat known as the McRibb. Your support is both welcome and appreciated. We will see you on the other side. My love to my wife, child and the rest of my wonderful family.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Happy Crap
I was at Whole foods grabbing a bite to eat when I noticed a very attractive women walk by and go into the bathroom. Nothing of note besides her attractiveness. Now before you get all worked up let me just state this for the record, I love my wife. Just because I made a promise to her to love and care and blah blah blah for her doesn’t mean that suddenly other women cease to be attractive. I certainly would expect my wife to see a shirtless washboard abs flexing Brad Pitt and think ‘icky, he looks nothing like my husband’. Hell I just got a little excited thinking about him, the man is hot.
Back to my slice of pizza. At this point I had pretty much finished the second slice and realized I never saw little hottie come back by, someone must be doing some work. It wasn’t exactly the picture I wanted in my head of Suzie sweet cheeks, but no big deal. Finally after a few more minutes she emerged from the bathroom and boy was she happy. With pep in her step a smile on her face and a fresh dab of lipstick and she was ready to take on the world. Now I was disgusted. I mean I have taken some satisfying craps before but this must have been orgasmic. Her joy churned my stomach. Then came the trailing waft of perfume that followed her from the bathroom. Never have rose petals smelled so horrible.
Back to my slice of pizza. At this point I had pretty much finished the second slice and realized I never saw little hottie come back by, someone must be doing some work. It wasn’t exactly the picture I wanted in my head of Suzie sweet cheeks, but no big deal. Finally after a few more minutes she emerged from the bathroom and boy was she happy. With pep in her step a smile on her face and a fresh dab of lipstick and she was ready to take on the world. Now I was disgusted. I mean I have taken some satisfying craps before but this must have been orgasmic. Her joy churned my stomach. Then came the trailing waft of perfume that followed her from the bathroom. Never have rose petals smelled so horrible.
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