Would you walk already!

I really can’t believe it has come to this, but let’s have a conversation on how to walk across the street. Shit, a chicken can do it for no good reason, yet perfectly ‘intelligent’ people cannot seem to grasp the obviously over simple concept of not walking in front of a moving car.
Tip number one. If the sign says don’t walk…DON’T FREAKING WALK!
Crazy idea number two. Try to cross the street in dedicated street crossing areas to avoid littering the street with dead bodies.
About to blow your mind concept number three. Look up before you cross the street. WOW!
And to round it off to an even four. Please do not ‘creep’ into the street anticipating the walk sign. You are standing five feet off the curb in the middle of my lane in order to get some sort of 1 second head start, but mean while I cannot make a right turn. I obviously honk at you and try to wave you back on the sidewalk, at which point you give me the bird.
See the problem is that while yes you might be able to scurry across the street without making me slow down, the 300 lbs lady behind you has a flash back to the good old days where she could hop skip and jump like a cat. Well sorry Garfield, you aint going anywhere quick these days and now I have to wait on your poky ass.
Stand. Wait. Watch. Walk.
Wait one more thing. If you are going to cross illegally, f@cking run your ass across the street. This slow step waddle is unacceptable. Let’s move folks!