My gum has layers. Let me repeat that. The gum that I am going to unwrap and look at for two seconds before putting into my mouth and chew into a beige abstract shape only to be trashed minutes later…has layers. A feature of which seems so important that gum manufacturers have spent millions of dollars developing and advertising as if to entice me to buy their products based purely on aesthetics rather than function. I have some bad news for them…ITS FREAKING GUM! I couldn’t care less what it bloody looks like. I do not have a shelf in the front hallway of my house dedicated to cool looking gum, nor do I unwrap my gum and run around my office yelling ‘holy shit, this is the coolest looking gum I have ever seen! I need to run back to the store to get more before they run out.”
Imagine sitting on the train about to put a piece of gum in your mouth when the trendy hipster sitting across from you pulls out is iphone and says ‘dude, hold on a second. Let me take a picture of your gum to post on my facebook page, tweet about, write a blog entry and possible post the picture on flickr.’ No one freaking cares.
I have a suggestion for you to get my attention with a piece of gum. Show me a picture of two hot blondes in bikinis and say ‘double your pleasure, double your fun’. Its old school bitches, and it works.
Next week I will discuss gum that ‘bursts in my mouth’. Guess how I feel about that?
http://racy.com/titlicks-gum-cinnamon.html
ReplyDeleteDoes this help?