Disclaimer: Adam Robert Miller might be one of the world's worst grammatical practitioners, highlighted by his inability to spell simple words that come up in everyday conversations.
I hate people that can't spell. Well it's more that I hate people that can spell but chose to play chinese finger trap game with the simplest words in the english language that not even I could misspell. This disdain for the blatant plundering of our dear language came to a head today when I heard a radio ad for a charity program called 'Cars for Kids'. What wonderful idea, you can donate your car (or so the ad says) so that the disadvantaged youth of america can be shuttled around to soccer practice, cheerleading camp and have a viable mode of transportation to and from the planned parenthood office. It was my understanding that these disadvantages were hefty enough that my vehicle donation would make a significant impact on their lives and they would go on to became valuable members of our society. Then the ad gave me their telephone number to call...'1-800-K-A-R-S-F-O-R-K-I-D-S'. Wait a second..."K" A-R-S for kids? I know that there is no such thing as audio spell check, but this seems like a glaring mistake that someone should have caught before they hired Walter Brimley away for the mega giant Quaker Oatmeal. It was then that they repeated the name over and over again to the point that I realized that this was some brainiac's genius idea to purposely misspell 'cars'. It was then I decided to take action, these people needed my help. I wrote down the address and started making a list of all the things I could donate to this wonderful organization and here is said list.
1. Not my car
2. Spelling Flash cards.
If these asstards can't figure how to spell CARS, they have no business driving a car! I would encourage "Kars for Kids" to partner with the below list of companies to review these flash cards together before reaching out to the public again.
1. Krispy Kreme (an amazing product, but a blatant disregard for human life)
2. Tastee Freeze
3. Flickr
Bonus...How many words did I misspell in this post?
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