Shut the Hell Up!

Do you remember the last time you heard a really good whistler? I mean a co-worker, friend or even a stranger on the street that could belt out a ditty that made you want to get up and dance? Yeah I thought that was a no, and you want to know why? Whistling sucks. It works on the occasional stray dog, or floozy walking down the beach in Panama City, but provides no actual musical benefit.

I am sure someone with the musical prowess of John Mayer or that guy from Hooty and the Blow Fish have rocked out a mean whistle solo in the middle of a killer concert in Central Park…”I was just really feeling the special moment a felt that a ten minute whistle solo was exactly what the moment called for”. The worst is when you are in the audience holding up your lighter three Coors Lights deep trying to whistle along to a random Star Spangled Banner solo in the middle of Margaritaville. Or even better when you are having a shit ass day at work and someone kicks into the Devil Went Down to Georgia and every time you get up to find out who it is they stop. It goes on for half the day until finally you yell…’would you stop whistling already!’ Only to realize later it was your boss and now somehow you are the dick.

So do everyone a favor and keep your whistling to yourself, and any blonde with fake…