Put Fluffy Down!

Put Fluffy in the back freakin seat!  I swear if I see one more person driving around with their stupid dog in their lap I will throw a squeaky toy across the street so your dog jumps out of the window at 60 mph.  NOTHING, I repeat NOTHING good can come from you having your dog in your lap while driving.  You know I don’t really care about your safety, but I do care for my own and somehow I think trying to make a left hand turn through an intersection with one hand on your dog is a dumb move.  In all honesty I care more about the well being of your dog than you because it isn’t their fault you are a dumbass.

You will argue that your dog is small and doesn’t get in your way, bullshit.  And if your dog is that small, then wouldn’t they fit perfectly one the floor or even…on the seat next to you?  The most offensive occurrence is when I see someone with their dog in their lap and someone sitting in the passenger seat, or even worse two kids sitting the back.  You would think that the extra set of hands would be perfect to hold your dumb dog and focus on driving, but a guess a moment with an excited dog in your lap is more important than your children’s safety.

Idiots.

This is all I can do for you today.

For some reason I have nothing to say, but that will not stop me from bringing pleasure to the world via my fantastical musings on the obscure and obscene. In this iteration of my semi weekly, never daily diatribe I would like to roll out a new feature of equally irrational…”Equally Irrational’s list of the irrational”.
1. I saw an article today that Sony will no longer be selling the cassette walkman. News flash, that happened a long time ago.
2. Polygamy is making a comeback. Seems like a really bad idea, but any man that wants to share a house with three women going through…’the cycle’ at the same time is a braver man than me.
3. I had someone ask me if twitter was like email. My response was, ‘as much as the Thomas Jefferson’s union expansion plan was like Ben Franklin’s.’ I had no idea what that ment but it kept them from asking me anymore questions.
4. You know when people talk about the landing on the moon, JFK getting shot, or 9/11 they always recall where they were when it happened. But for some reason no one remembers where they were when they were conceived. A simple five minute conversation could solve this problem, and make my inquiries far less creepy. Call your parents.
5. My dog is entertained by my farts.
6. I hate people that refer to their own blog in their blog.